What might happen at '07's All-Star Weekend

Get your popcorn ready...

All-Star Celebrity Game
Friday Night, 7:00 ESPN
What might happen: Hopefully the only props we see from Carrot Top are to the guy who just dunked on him. West wins in a landslide. How appropriate would a Jimmy Fallon halftime performance of "(You Can't Play) Basketball" be?

Rookie Challenge
Friday Night, 9:00 TNT
What might happen: Rookies upset heavily favored Soph squad, Rudy Gay named MVP to further emphasize how uncool the NBA thinks Tim Hardaway is.

D-League All-Star Game
Saturday Night, 5:00 NBA TV
What might happen: Peter John Ramos might happen, that's what.

Barkley V. Bavetta
Saturday Night, TBD TNT
What might happen: Chuck may have taken down Godzilla 15 years ago, but Dick Bavetta is an altogether different beast! The Ref outruns the Round Mound and basks in the spectacle post-race by declaring "Rick Mahorn, you're next!"

NBA All-Star Saturday Night
Saturday Night, 8:00 TNT
What might happen: Nate Robinson's dunk percentage is lower than his year-to-date shooting percentage (43.6%); Tyrus Thomas' lack of showmanship is unprecendented; Dwight Howard becomes tallest Slam Dunk Champ. Chris Paul reps the true points with a Skills win. How does 56% 3-point shooter Jason Kapono not take the shootout? We all learn a little bit about Haier.

NBA All-Star Game
Sunday Night, 8:00 TNT
What might happen: The East struggles out of the gate thanks to Eddie Jordan's pre-game emphasis on defense. Game MVP Shawn Marion leads West.